Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
