I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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