You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
