ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
