I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize