the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
