Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize