i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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