Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
