I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
