he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
