talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
