i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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