it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
