Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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