When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
