why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
