mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Im part way to drunk.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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