My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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