Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize