i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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