Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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