Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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