She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
