Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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