I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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