The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize