So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
