Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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