you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
