my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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