the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
