just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
