Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
