Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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