Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
