i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
