just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
