hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize