After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
