I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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