We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
