My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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