You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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