dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
