I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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