I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
