Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
