I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
