By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
