Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
