You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
