David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
