O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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