I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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