We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
