Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
