Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
