god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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