i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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