Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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