yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
