so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
