Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize