Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
