so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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