"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
