Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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